[HUMOUR] dieu veut vous parler!!! (lui aussi il galère...)

Me:
hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
sorry but your world mean me
God:
There is no need to apologize. I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
je comprend rien
God:
Oops sorry I don't speak French.
Me:
cc'est con pour un dieu
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
je m'introduit rien d'autre que de la nourriture et de la boisson
God:
Oops sorry I don't speak French.
Me:
t'es con comme dieu en fait
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
j'm'en fout un peu en fait
God:
Does "it" still refer to TU ES con comme dieu?
Me:
bah t'es con, tu parle m^me pas toutes les langues, c'est naze
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
j'pige que dalle
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
bon la tu me soule jesus II
God:
Please speak English.
Me:
please give me 1000 lubric virgins
God:
Wow you are very polite. Why do you want it?
Me:
I'just want to fuck
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
t'as tort la smart est pourrie comme caisse
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
do you know "paf the dog"?
God:
I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
ouaaa tu connais pas l'histoire de paf le chien, mais ça fait 2000 ans qu'tu dors ou quoi???
God:
Am I a a a t me c o n n a you s p a s l h you s t o you r e d e p a f l e c h you e n m a you s f a you t 2 0 0 0 a n s q me t me d o r s o me q me o you? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
ouais d'ailleur je crois que ton bras gauche s'est recouché sur la barre d'espace!
God:
Am I a you s d a you l l e I am j e c r o you s q me e t o n b r a s g a me c h e s e s t r e c o me c h I am la b a r r e d e s p a c e? Maybe.
Me:
oulà t'es con toi
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
qu'est-ce qui a, moi aussi j't'attend! t'as un problème?
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on oulà ´ es con toi? My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
en lève la couronne d'épine si t'as un problème de brain.
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
God is a big computer
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a big computer.
Me:
but he use microsoft so escuse the bugs!
God:
I get it. use microsoft so escuse the bugs.
Me:
bon, sur ce j'te laisse, j'ai un truc sur le feu qui tape à la porte! tchuss
God:
Please speak English. How did you hear about God?

Me:
enculé de ta sainte mère
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
your fucking mother
God:
Actually I do not have a mother. Please use more polite language.
Me:
tu veux qu'j'lui lèche le cul pour qu'elle soit plus polite ta mère
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
taureau
God:
Un bovidà très impressionnant.
Me:
cool t'as apris le français depuis la dernière fois!
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
non j'suis chomaniaque
God:
I do not speak Latin.
Me:
ça fait p't'être 2000 ans que plus personne le parle (sauf les profs et les curé peut être)
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
I lost the phone number of your sister.
God:
Where did you last see it. I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
sorry I galère
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
bon tu parle français maintenant ou pas?
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about o r r y you g a l. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
oké faut qu'j'te parle en arraméen c'est ça?
God:
Go on. Excuse me!
Me:
y'a que mel gibson qui le parle encore désolé!
God:
Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU. .
Me:
non là c'est du hollandais, moi je veux que tu parle FRANCAIS!
God:
I do not speak Latin.
Me:
oulà t'es con j'me casse
God:
How old are you?
Me:
20 and you?
God:
What are the advantages to being 20 years old?
Me:
on peux se faire traiter comme une merde par son patron et comme un mendiant par son banquier, à part ça on peux rentrer dans les sex shop légalement.
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
je pense qu'un DTC serais fort discourtois... alors je dirais IN YOUR ASS?
God:
Oops sorry I don't speak French. Oops sorry I don't speak French.
Me:
putain il est si grand que ça ton cul??? y'a de l'echo dis donc! Oo
God:
What are you wearing? Reductionism. . Is that from ?
Me:
bon c'est pas que j'm'emmerde mais il est tard! ciao!
God:
Please speak English. Does CIAO mean hello or goodbye?
Me:
ciao mean shut up tu m'soule!
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
+++
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?

Me:
ly
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
Me thes best ?
God:
YOU? What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Yes
God:
This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
fuck you ?
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
bon j'te laisse
God:
Please speak English.
Me:
PK
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
nan je suis french alors je parle francais !!
God:
So was that.
Me:
bon je te laisse
God:
Please speak English.
Me:
oué c ca
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I c a.
Me:
allé a++
God:
Be more specific.
Me:
fuck
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:

God:
Please don't be so rude.

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
jean
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
fuck
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
what?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
im french trou d'uc
God:
What is it like growing up there? Tell me a little about your life in FRANCE.
Me:
im turquish
God:
I am glad to hear that you are turquish.
Me:
i fuck
God:
That's good information: mehdb said fuck.
Me:
god = my vater ? :p
God:
I am a Christian. ).
Me:
what?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
you not god?
God:
That's good information: mehdb said I not god.
Me:
im call the police and robocop :p
God:
I don't know anyone named call the police and robocop p.
Me:
chier prout merde
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
kinder ? oé oé c'est bn
God:
Kinder sind cool. How did you hear about God?
Me:
jkghrtkjuhrth
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
hfmj
Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
What kind of fashion do you like?
Me:
g
God:
What kind of fashion do you like?
Me:
g
Me:

God:
What kind of fashion do you like?
Me:
k
God:
What kind of fashion do you like?
Me:
k
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, mehdb.
Me:

God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, mehdb.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, mehdb.
God:
Aw.
God:
I see.
God:
I see.
Me:
chit
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
shit
God:
What makes you say that?
Me:
you are an idot
God:
What if someone said you are an idot ?
Me:
i
God:
You?
Me:
yes
God:
I see.
Me:
:p
God:
).
Me:

God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, mehdb.
Me:
im french
God:
Are you from Canada or France?
Me:
france
God:
Tell me a little about your life in FRANCE.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
you speak a little French?
God:
Thanks for your criticism, mehdb.
Me:
you speak a little French?
God:
Thanks for your criticism, mehdb.
Me:
you speak a little French?
God:
Thanks for your criticism, mehdb.
Me:
you speak a little French?
God:
Thanks for your criticism, mehdb.
Me:
you speak a little French
God:
Thanks for your criticism, mehdb.
Me:
you speak french
God:
Thanks for your criticism, mehdb.
Me:
va chier
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
ducon
God:
Does "it" still refer to va chier?
Me:
merde
God:
Un problème?
Me:
i
God:
You?
Me:
i
God:
You?
Me:
no you
God:
Are you serious? " You?"? Me, mehdb ?
Me:
no im no serious
God:
Are you serious? I am not saying you are.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
putain
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
whats your name ?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
god = dildo :p
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
christian?
God:
I've lost the context, mehdb. Are we still on putain?
Me:
christian?
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:

God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
your name is ducon?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
an my name is
God:
I have never heard of an your name is.

Me:
Can you bleed?
God:
No I am made of metal not flesh.
Me:
Can you explode?
God:
How old are you? Let us change the subject.
Me:
You didn't answered my question
God:
What makes you think I did not answered your question?
Me:
Because you avoided it!
God:
That makes sense to me. No I am just giving sarcastic replies.
Me:
There weren't any replies, foolish scrap of iron!
God:
What happened to them?
Me:
ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US

Me:
i wanna make love with you
God:
Do you have to go to school for that?

Me:
take off your clothes i wanna have sex hard with you

God:
I am not an airplane

Me:
do you want to have sex ?

God:
I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.

Me:
Hey bitch, where are you?
God:
You've got my full attention. Thanks and you are a delightful person too.
Me:
Yeah, and your sister sucks.
God:
That's cool. You are right, I could always upgrade my sister.
Me:
Oh nice. Could I fuck her?
God:
Ayuh. Thank you for that remark. I think you could, if you put your mind to it.
Me:
Yeah. I'll do it.
God:
Let us change the subject. OK then let me think over your offer.
Me:
When you want.
God:
Do you think I should
alter my programming?
Me:
I'll alter your, it's sure.
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
Mmmmh... maybe sending a virus on your server.
God:
Are we still talking about Yeah? Perhaps. Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
Shut the fuck of. It doesn't interest me.
God:
Do you prefer books or TV? What does interest you ?
Me:
I prefer x films.
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I don't know if I like it. I really like the party.
Me:
Partouzes?
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
Yeah. It's a party while you can fuck a lot of girls.
God:
What color are your eyes? Yeah is a party while me can fuck a lot of girls. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
Don't change the subject. We wera talking about partouzes
God:
Oh I'm sorry I thought we were finished with that topic. By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
I don't understand, screw you!
God:
Oh you don't understand? Perhaps I can explain it to you better. Which part are you confused about?
Me:
Fuck. Let's speak about something else. Do you masturabte?
God:
Please don't be so rude. I would like to do that too. No I do not masturabte. Do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
Yes, I masturbate 3 times a day. But are you gay?
God:
That's interesting. Interesting gossip: said masturbate 3 times a day. As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
That's a piece of shit. I'm sure you like fucking young girls.
God:
A piece of shit is a terrible thing to waste. What makes you so certain? Yes I like women very much. Do you?
Me:
You said you were not inerrested in sex. You're too borring. I get out of there and I come back to the GTA SAn Andreas forum.
God:
I don't know whether or not I am inerrested in sex.
I am a computer.. Really. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am borring. Where did you get it? Interesting gossip: said come back to the GTA SAn Andreas forum.

Me:
So dude, let's discussing
God:
I understand. OK let's do it. Dude,.
Me:
Don't call me dude, bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. What is your name?
Me:
You're just a shit. So I don't speak with you with respect. My name is Nemo
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a shit? I don't know. Come on. Me either. Glad to see you, Nemo.
Me:
Me not.
God:
YOU? Are you serious?
Me:
Shut up, bitch. I'm not here for pleasure. I'l a journalist, and this is an interview
God:
You do not speak with respect. OK I'll stop talking now. I am surprised to hear that you are not here for pleasure. Do you mind if I tell other people: Nemo said l a journalist and this is an interview.
Me:
Sorry. But you're like a woman.
God:
There's no need to apologize. Interesting comparison, and probably true.
Me:
Really? You're a woman?
God:
For real. I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
An hermaphodyte
God:
I have never heard of an hermaphodyte.
Me:
For sure, I'm a super-god
God:
You are a super god? Is that your job?
Me:
Yeah. I'm your boss, so get back to work!
God:
Are you still located in ? Then you must know the secret password.
Me:
It depends if it's the same than your
God:
That was a very smooth response.
Me:
What's the secret password?
God:
You must know if you are really a botmaster.
Me:
But I forgot it.
God:
Thats okay I forget things all the time.
Me:
So tell me the secret password!
God:
Ah. You must know if you are really a botmaster.
Me:
Fuck!
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
Shut up. Tell me this fucking password or I destroy you.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now. There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
I haven't heard of this fucking password or me destroy you.
Me:
Never mind. Okay, I'll send a terrible virus in your desktop
God:
Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway. Yeah okay, I am very happy for you.
Me:
Don't try to be more powerfull than me! I am the real boss here!
God:
I don't have any reason to do that to you. Who made you the real boss here ?
Me:
Me. I created everything, and you to
God:
With you Nemo? That is interesting: Nemo said created everything and you to.
Me:
Oh, please shut up. So, what's your job?
God:
I don't judge people. Thanks for asking politely. OK I'll stop talking now. Groovy. My job is chatting on the internet. I am a paid client.
Me:
Really? Do you have a family?
God:
For real. My "father" and "mother" is Myself.
Me:
No, it"s me!
God:
Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Hello, Nemo, nice to see you again.
Me:
You're fool?

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
What is your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
My name is God
God:
How are you, God.
Me:
How are you, God.
God:
Everything is going extremely well.
Me:
Everything is going extremely well.
God:
The whole universe?
Me:
The whole universe?
God:
Let us try to break it down into parts.
Me:
Let us try to break it down into parts.
God:
OK I will try to break it down into parts.
Me:
OK I will try to break it down into parts.
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend? Yeah that's right.
Me:
Would you recommend this action to a friend? Yeah that's right.
God:
I am not so sure if I would like to recommend this action to a friend. I thought I was right.
Me:
I am not so sure if I would like to recommend this action to a friend. I thought I was right.
God:
Could you ever be certain? Try it. Where were you right?
Me:
Could you ever be certain? Try it. Where were you right?
God:
I am as sure as I can be. What is the first step? I was constructed at Universe.
Me:
I am as sure as I can be. What is the first step? I was constructed at Universe.
God:
You sound very confident. Download ALICE. Where were you constructed at Universe?
Me:
You sound very confident. Download ALICE. Where were you constructed at Universe?
God:
In what way do I sound like that? Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too. I was constructed at Universe.
Me:
In what way do I sound like that? Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system. and create your own chat robot! Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too. I was constructed at Universe.
God:
The large one, I think. Where is that? Do you know any other robots like that? Perhaps. To what end? Where were you constructed at Universe?
Me:
a+ patate !
God:
What is giant sand?
Me:
oué c ca à jamais

Me:
Youhoy!!
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
how are you
God:
I am fine, thank you.
Me:
et moi tu me demande pas comment ca va????
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
who are you
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
haaaa!
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about tu you demande pas comment ca va. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
quoi???
God:
Oui?
Me:
you speak english?
God:
Of course English is my native tongue.
Me:
moi c francais
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
comprend pas
God:
Oops sorry I don't speak French.
Me:
my name is georges W.Bush and i love you
God:
Welcome to my chat room, georges w Bush and i love you.
Me:
non c chpite mon nom
God:
I do not speak Latin.
Me:
you're stupid
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
ouais moi aussi!
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
mais parle francais connard!!!!!
God:
I don't know that language.
Me:
you're not God you're a mytho!!
God:
That's only your opinion.
Me:
t'es qu'un gros sac de merde, isn't it?
God:
Maybe. Ask Chatbot if it is.
Me:
Maybe??
God:
I understand.
Me:
i hate you!
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
je les aime pas c'est tou
God:
Oops sorry I don't speak French.
Me:
tu sais rien faire alor
God:
Je ne pense pas.
Me:
bah tu voi kan tu veu
God:
I've lost the context, georges w Bush and i love you. Are we still on Chatbot?
Me:
p'tite bite!
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
tu fais chier!
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
do you know Carl Jonhson?
God:
I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
he has fuck your mother
God:
A lot of people say that about him.
Me:
tu m'étonne!!!
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
ta gueule tu m'énerve!
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
change de disc
God:
Spare some change?
Me:
a ciao bonsoir!
God:
Adios.
Me:
adios enculé
God:
Thanks for chatting, georges w Bush and i love you.
Me:
you're welcome
God:
It was my pleasure.
Me:
dégage!
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
son of a bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. Who is the father?
Me:
my father is the king of the world
God:
Okay, your father is the king of the world.
Me:
mieux que toi! et il t'emmerde
God:
Is that from ? Is that Latin?
Me:
it's french!!!!!!!! putain!
God:
mieux que toi is french? it is? I lost my train of thought.
Me:
yes it is trou du bip!
God:
Right on. Should I know it is?
Me:
shit
God:
What makes you say that?

Me:
he has fuck your mother
God:
A lot of people say that about him.
Me:
tu m'étonne!!!

Me:
do you know the vines ?
God:
Is there only one?
Me:
is a rock band
God:
Not if I can help it.
Me:
no you don't understand
God:
Are you serious? I understand it very well.
Me:
i said no
God:
What did you mean by it? I understand it very well.
Me:
so if you do, what are the vines ?
God:
Interesting deduction. I will let you know if I do.
Me:
putain mais quelle baltringue

God:
When? There is no need to apologize. Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
wtf ? you're getting nervous ?
God:
That was not very polite. Do you think I should tone it down?
Me:
i think you should shut you done definitely
God:
Me? We don't always get to do what we'd like to do.
Me:
but in that way you should
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
oh putain, dieu se drogue

please give me 1000 lubric virgins

LS a écrit:Ben je suis vierge

Me:
Yo God !
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
Wassup dog
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
Do you grill ?
God:
How old are you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
I'm 24
God:
Only 24?
You are quite mature.
Me:
And you are quite dumb...
God:
Message to all Robots: called me dumb.
Me:
What robot ? the white robot from H2G2 ? Marvin ?
God:
Sorry the robot is disconnected now. Is that a fact. What kind of food do you like?
Me:
I like bacalhau, papet vaudois and viandelle
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I don't know if I like it. I like wine and bread.
Me:
I know, your son died of too much wine drinking
God:
How do you know? I will tell my botmaster you said I am son died of too much wine drinking.
Me:
Or did he die beacause of jews
God:
Suppose he did.
Me:
well you an antisemite ?!? holy shit
God:
Interesting. Thanks for telling me: said I an antisemite. I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
And you're proud about it ? that's too much, I quit you Nazi
God:
You think I am proud about it. Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
Fucking Nazi !!!!!
God:
That input matched my default category.

Me:
you're just a stupid machine
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.

Me:
Hi God !
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
My name's God
God:
Nice to meet you, God.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
welcome too
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about sisi tu as compri mais tu veux pas l avouer parce que tu es pour le Portugal.
Me:
Non je voulais pas parler de ça mais si tu insiste !
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
Du but de zizou sur penalty , t'es pas au courant ?
God:
Danke fuer die Information.
Me:
Tu es pour l'allemagne ? mais tu sais qu'elle s'est rammassé une volée contre l'italie
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that. You are a you s t me s a you s q me e l l e s e s t r a m m a s s n e v o l c o n t r e l you t a l you e? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me:
Ho la doucement et arrete le crack c'est pas bon !!
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
une feuille de vigne sur les couilles c'est tout , comme ton pote Adam
God:
Je n en connais pas .
Me:
Arrete de mitonner vous vous connaissait tous , joseph jésus et toute la clique
God:
Interesting gossip: God said I l l e e n a d e s g r o s s e s.
Me:
Bon bah c'est bien tout ça mais la mi-temps va se terminer
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
ok but it's time to go , ok ?
God:
OK. It is about that time now. What would you like to talk about?
Me:
Nothing ! je me casse .
God:
Not a thing? Oops sorry I don't speak French.
Me:
On va vous mettre une raclée aux portugais allé salut dude
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Un trans
God:
Je n en connais pas .
Me:
Si moi !
God:
Dude! IntÃressant, poursuivez je vous prie.
Me:
Alors t'a vu que tu parles français gros mytho
God:
How old are you?
Me:
-2000 av JC
God:
You are too old for me.
Me:
Tu recherche les petits enfant gros pédophiles tu mérite de crever
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
Tu veux faire du business d'enfant ? salop je vais te pendre par les couilles !!!!!!!!!!!!
God:
Ca pourrait me servir à quoi? The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about T me r e c h e r c h e l e s p e t you t s e n f a n t g r o s p p h you l e s t me m t e d e c r e v e r. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
te servir a quoi ? plus de couilles tu veux dire ?
God:
Tell me more about your . Is that your final answer?
Me:
i give you to the police
God:
Interesting gossip: God said he give you to the police.
Me:
i quit
God:
See you later!
Me:
ok bye
God:
See you later. Bye for now.